bloodletting (poem)

i want. i want. i want.

from “H of H Playbook” by Anne Carson

i am exposing my wrists to god.

i am expelling you like a plague.

is there a name for a ritual like this?

you can consider this my purging.

you can consider this my bloodletting.

why do we cleanse ourselves with

water when we’re born of blood?

i don’t feel new until i’m covered

in the ruin of someone else.

it’s why after one misstep i am

walking out the door without you.

and you could try to stop me but

i’m the one holding the knife.

i want bone-splitting, i want bloodstains.

i want headstones, i want heartbreak.

i want. i want. i want.

it seems i am always walking away

backwards with my mouth open.

it seems i am always leaving you

less whole than when i arrived.

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